Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Tonight this post goes out in the loving memory of my belated uncle Carlos Quinones. I can't really go indepth to who my uncle was or tell funny stories of times spent together because unfortunately I didn't get to know him well.All I have are vague memories of the man whom he was and stories told by family members who did get to know him. But it doesn't change the fact that I am reminded of him every single day by patients that I register. My heart goes out to all of those whom fight this never ending battle with these demons that deteriorate the cells in their organisms. Day to day I meet people in various stages of their treatment either in remission or just begining their treatments. These people confide in me their greatest fears and/or their optisism in the way that they see life and how they can't wait to have new begingings. They also go on to say that they can't wait to yell at the top of their lungs that they are SURVIVORS! They look upon me to give them strenghtening words and I try my best. The reason that I am writing this post today is because I can't get the stricken look of a patient that i had this afternoon. She sobbed at my desk for a full hour and I truly realized that the monster called cancer has no scruples as to whom it affects. At the tender age of nineteen she has had both of her breast removed last week and is to start undergoing chemo. As I was registering her she broke out into heart wrenching sobs, I tried to calm her and tell her everything would be okay to have faith. It broke my heart that I could do nothing more than to offer those simple words to her. She sobbed her eyes out at the thought of not being able to bear children. She went on to state that no man would marry her because she didn't have her breast she said she didn't feel like a woman anymore. She even went on to say that even if she got breast implants they still wouldn't marry her because she couldn't give them children. I really felt for the young woman, I tried my best to comfort her with words that came to heart but in truth I couldn't even imagine the place I'd be in if I didn't have my chaotic boys to fulfil my days and drive me insane . Needless to say, I came home to smother my kids with tight hugs and kisses. I truly thanked God for them. It also got me thinking of the pain and agony that my uncle must've gone through. I wish I could've been there for him, even if it was to just offer the vague words to 'just have faith'. This goes out to say be aware of your body, support others and also keeps those you love close because in this cruel world you never know when their or your time is up! Take care everyone and good night.